grief isn’t rational

There are times that I will be driving and just letting my mind wander. Listening to music. Sometimes thinking. Sometimes trying NOT to think. 

I’ll pass riders on the roads or highways. Sometimes alone…sometimes in pairs or groups. My mind immediately goes to him. Sometimes it even sees him in one of the riders. Maybe it’s the way they’re riding and it’s similar to his style. Maybe it’s their posture in the bike and I can tell that they’re also likely fairly tall by the way the back rounds like his did when he wasn’t sitting up straight. Sometimes it’s because the bike is a similar build or colors. 

No matter the reason, my mind goes to him. Sometimes a wish. Sometimes a drop of my heart. Sometimes even a double take despite that being completely irrational. 

Grief isn’t rational anyway. 

Author: Grief_is_a_b!tch

I am just me. A mom struggling through the grieving process after the loss of my firstborn son in December 2022 when he was only 19 years old. Struggling to balance my grief, anger, and stress while having to find a way to continue with life. Struggling to balance my grief while helping my younger son process his own. All while being angry about how grief is a bitch. View all posts by Grief_is_a_b!tch