I know that healing takes time. I know that grief is a slow process. I have now seen firsthand how long it takes to even make a dent into feeling even slightly like the “before” version of myself. I know that you don’t “get over” something like this…you simply learn how to function around it.
But I wonder how long it will be until I learn how to do that?
How long until I am not bothered by the fact that I was basically abandoned by my family when I needed them the most?
How long will it be until I don’t feel like I’m hurting someone I care about because I am always feeling like shit?
How long until I don’t feel like I have to wear Bryce’s clothes every day? I know I don’t need to rush it but how long will it take?
How long will it take until I don’t feel my heart break more every time I see my baby’s smiling face in a photo? How much can a single heart break anyway?
How long will it take before I find the desire to be social again?
How long will it take before I don’t feel peopled out at the end of every day? At the end of every week?
How long before I am able to sleep well again without needing meds to help? And on that note, how long until I actually feel rested when I do sleep?
How long will it take before I have the energy to keep up with work, school, and home again? I’m keeping them all going but the dishes in my sink might argue that the home is suffering a tad. The clean clothes on the dining room table might join the sink in that argument but at least they’re clean, right?
Grief is a B!tch 