I understand that everyone has their own religious views and beliefs. I do not take offense to people saying that they’re praying for me. I know the intent, and it is the same as those saying they’re sending me love. I feel the love of those people.
When my mom passed in 2016, I was annoyed by some religious comments.
But now, after my son?
I know that you think you’re trying to help, and I know that it might seem a comfort to YOU.
But do NOT tell me that “god needed his angel back” or “god has a plan” or “you will see him again in the next life” or other things like that.
A shitty fucking thing happened caused by a shitty fucking person.
It wasn’t your god taking MY SON back.
It wasn’t your god taking MY SON just as he was finding himself.
He’d barely reached adulthood. He was only 19.
It wasn’t your god with some random ass “plan”.
My son had a plan too.
He was facing his past, facing his past behaviors, fixing himself, found the love of his life and was making plans with her, found amazing friends, found a passion, found a career where he was excelling.
So if you have that blind faith that gives you comfort, I am genuinely happy for you.
But remember that we don’t all share that blind faith.
Some of us find it illogical, unlikely, or impossible to exist.
While we feel the love when you say that you’re praying for us and you are more than welcome to do so, do not disrespect those who are grieving by feeding them comments about “god’s plan”. Especially those grieving the loss of a child. Grief is a bitch no matter who you’ve lost, but parents should NEVER outlive their children.
My son had plans too.
And my son’s plans were more important than your god’s plans.
His place was here with us. With ME. Not in your idea of an afterlife.
Respect goes both ways when it comes to religious beliefs.
Please remember that.
I honestly don’t know what I believe. I used to have religion. Was I religious? I don’t know. But I did have religion. I did believe in God…basically.
Looking back, I think I was always more agnostic than I realized. Even when I was “religious”. Even when I was part of religious organizations. Because there were parts of it that didn’t make sense. Parts of it didn’t sit with my logical and analytical mind.
Where is the logic behind a supernatural being that created humans? Where is the logic behind anything in the bible? Behind heaven and hell? Behind a being letting humans do such horrible things to each other because of “free will”. Letting some prosper and letting others suffer. The world is fucking chaos and a loving god simply wouldn’t do that.
There is also the rabbit hole that comes when you research religion and see that all of them have the same stories and myths and that that can’t be possible if it is true and that a person’s religion and faith is simply a circumstance of birth. You are born in place A, and you’re Christian, place B, and you’re Jewish; and in place C and you’re Muslim.
Logic does not sit with religion.
Please be mindful of things like that when you are around someone dealing with grief. I imagine it would apply to anyone but especially a grieving parent. Losing my mom was horrible but she at least lived for 52 years. Had children. Grandchildren.
My son was 19.
He didn’t get the chance for any of those things. He was barely beginning his life. Learning who he was. Building his identity. Nothing you can say will comfort me. Especially anything in the religious realm. No god would find it to be loving to take my son at 19. So don’t use your faith to attempt to comfort me.
I will always defend your right to worship as you wish.
In return, I ask that you respect those of us who do not believe. I don’t know if I am atheist…or agnostic…or spiritual. And it doesn’t matter.
You respect me and I will respect you.
And leave my son out of it.
Grief is a B!tch 