Along with me using my own social media as some cheap version of a virtual therapist, I was able to go onto my son’s social media and try to smile through the tears at his silly nature.
His Tiktok videos, like the one I am sharing with all of you, made me smile. Some were silly, some showed his love of riding, some made me cringe as a mom (kids love a good thirst trap nowadayssssss). But even if some made me shake my head, they still made me laugh because he was so funny.
Going through the photos and videos on his cell phone was another way I let myself feel closer to him. Seeing his phone hurts horribly because of how trashed it is. It was in his front jeans pocket during the accident. But he has so many funny photos and silly videos that he had sent to friends and siblings that show his fun side.
When I am feeling especially broken, I rewatch the videos of his that I have saved to my phone. Sometimes they do make me hurt worse. I won’t lie about that. But sometimes they make me smile and feel closer to him and help keep the memories of him fresh.
Grief is a B!tch 